Sunday, February 08, 2009

Numb


Bee and I have been arguing quite a fair bit lately.

It seems like we are off to a rocky start just days into the year of Ox.

If you've been in relationship long enough, you might realise that couples argue about the same issue(s) over and over again.

And those issues, are normally things that can't be changed, unwilling to be changed, or both parties refuse to compromise.

After the first argument, one is normally optimistic about the changes to be made and how a deeper understanding of one another helps to build a brighter future.

After the second argument, one still has faith that things can be done to make it all better and there's still light at the end of the tunnel.

The third and the fourth, one starts doubting that maybe it really wasn't meant to be and hence, immediately goes into denial mode.

The fifth and the sixth arguments usually lead to nowhere, because there isn't anything to be said that hasn't been said already.

The seventh and the eighth, one starts to realise that nothing is ever gonna change no matter how hard you fight for it.

A few braver ones might be strong enough to just pack up and leave, knowing that the relationship is heading nowhere but the land of tears and sorrow. It might hurt like a bitch now, but the sun is bound to start shining again someday.

Then there are the majority of us, those who do not have enough courage to just walk away. And so, the vicious cycle continues.

After the Nth time of argument, one simply feels numb. You lose the ability to breath because the pain is so excruciating that your body can no longer contain it, you're at a loss for words because you don't even know where to begin.

When the last strand of strength has been drained from your body, you simply cannot fight anymore. You only want to go to sleep, and not wake up.

Only then, you're truly free.