Friday, August 28, 2009

Different


So it's the third day.

And I guess I'm beginning to notice some difference.

Or maybe I'm just too eager for the symptoms to improve that I hallucinated the difference. :|

For starter, I actually had a good night sleep with the help of a lower dose of Stilnox, which is definitely an improvement from a few days ago.

The chest pain and palpitations have improved significantly, but my left arm still feels weak and I still get that weird feeling that I'm unable to empty my bladder completely.

Bee fixed the problem with adjusting the brightness of my laptop screen on Ubuntu, so it's dimmer now and hurting my eyes less, but I can't say that my sensitivity to lights have shown much improvement.

And I had the 15th lesson for my Secret Project Australia in the afternoon, which, as usual, left me feeling like a complete failure for not being able to master something so simple that people do on a daily basis.

Oh well.

Despite all that, there is something quite different that I'm feeling today, yet I can't pinpoint what it is.

It feels different, but I can't even tell whether it's good-different, or bad-different.

So much so that it freaked me out a little in the morning.

It's a bizarre feeling.

Am I losing touch with reality that I can't even get a grasp of my own feelings?

Or have I just been miserable for too long that even normal feels foreign to me now?