Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Homesick


I'm terribly homesick today.

Or maybe I should say that I'm extra homesick today, since it's not like I haven't been almost everyday for the past few months.

But I was hit by a sudden pang of homesickness last night because Sam was in town on vacation for a few days with her husband and daughter, and they left yesterday.

Seeing her was almost like seeing family. That's the thing about the people you grew up with, I guess.

You feel safe and free to just be who you are without feeling expected to act or behave a certain way, and you can simply talk about anything and everything with each other without worrying about being judged or perceived wrongly.

And that's what we did.

We talked all the way to dinner, through dinner, and back from dinner on Monday night. After sending her husband and daughter upstairs to sleep, we continued to sit in the cafe at the lobby and just talked for hours till the sky was turning bright.

She always has this amazing ability of giving out positive energy and inspiring me to just gather enough courage to march right through my troubles and worries without over-analysing. Seeing how brave she is in tackling life's challenges head on and has since single-handedly turned things around in her life has never failed to motivate me to do the same.

Oh, and I have to mention that she's also one of the very few people, outside my own family, who I speak Foochow with. I guess that's another added bonus for familiarity in foreign land. Haha.

As good as it feels to catch up with childhood friends from home, it's equally hard to say goodbye.

Another thing that I'm never good at.

I went to send them off yesterday afternoon, and I was reminded of why I've always preferred visiting friends back home instead of having them to come visit me in Melbourne.

It's always easier being the one who to leave, than the one who's left behind.

As we hugged to say goodbye, she said, "Let's not look at each other anymore, just turn around and walk away."

Which we did.

I filled in my afternoon by going to my doctor's appointment and running errands, even did a little shopping on the way home to cheer myself up.

And I really thought I was doing so well.

I was so tired that I fell asleep right after dinner last night, only to wake up an hour later feeling that void in my heart.

That longing and aching desire that we call homesickness.