Friday, September 30, 2005

Blue Moon


"Blue Moon
You knew just why I was there for
You heard me say a prayer for
Someone I really could care for
And then there suddenly appear before me
The only one my arms could ever hold"
~ The Platters (Blue Moon)

Technically, I asked Bee out for our second date.

Coming from a small town that still has the mindset of 18th century and a family that doesn't believe in kissing before marriage (okay, I'm exaggerating, but you get the drift), I've been taught since childhood about The Rules.

Girls should never ask boys out. Girls should never call boys first. Girls should never make the first move. Girls should be put on pedestal and worshiped by boys. Girls should turn down boys for three times to make sure they are serious. The list goes on. Any form of behaviour outside The Rules is considered highly inappropriate and disgraceful.

Therefore, I have always been the girl who waits painfully by the phone, the girl who doesn't reply love letters, and the girl who will never tell a guy she likes him first. We have been programmed to believe that no guy would take you seriously if you didn't follow The Rules and remain an unattainable fairy-like creature.

At the age of 23, I broke The Rules and had since lost the magical glitters on my wings.

After our first night out, Bee sent Bridget and I back to her place.

Bridget got out of the car first to rescue one of her puppies that had fallen into the drain. Me, still an aloof and divine enchantress back then, was left to have a moment alone with the guy whose smile made my heart beat double time.

Under normal circumstances, this would be the perfect timing for a guy to make the next move. I clutched my purse tightly, waiting for Bee to ask me out again.

It didn't happen.

I then realised that I had a choice. I could ask him out and risk having him thinks I'm easy, or I could play hard to get and wait for him to call me again.

The Rules were flashing red warning lights in my head. But that night, Bee couldn’t have looked any cuter in that maroon shirt of his. Oh what I wouldn’t do to see him again.

To hell with it! I was leaving KL in 3 days and I didn't have time to play games.

So I smiled and said, "Would you like to see me again before I leave?"

Of all the clever things he could have said, a very-nervous-yet-seemingly-calm Bee replied, "Sure, if you want to."

(Oh don't worry, to this day, he still gets shit from me for saying that.)

The most wonderful thing happened that night. For the first time in my life, my inner monster didn't come out and play.

Every girl has a monster called insecurity. Some small, some big. Well, mine was gigantic. I always knew that the monster was a big disaster to my relationships, I just didn't know that it was waiting to be tamed by the right person.

Does he like me? What if he doesn't like me? If he does, does he like me for the right reasons? Is it going to work out? Will he end up breaking my heart? What if he is just playing? How would I know whether he is serious?

A thousand and one questions a girl could ask, none of which bothered me that night.

All the unnecessary voices were blocked out. I heard nothing. Not even the slightest sound of it.

Only the beats of my own heart.

No over-analysing, no questioning, no worrying, no trying to define what was going on, it was all taken away when I looked into his eyes and saw the answers to my questions.

I learned that a girl doesn't have to sit on a throne or be locked away in high tower guarded by fire-breathing dragons in order to live happily ever after with Prince Charming.

It works the other way around.

When the right boy comes along, he will put his crown on your head, calls you his princess and loves you like there is none other.

On 14 May 2004, every girl in Australia stayed up to watch the fairytale wedding when Mary Donaldson married Crown Prince Frederik of Denmark. So did I.

And then I messaged Bee.

"Mary looked breathtakingly beautiful in her white duchess satin gown and Irish lace veil. Her groom wept as she walked down the aisle. It was the dream of every girl. But baby, mine came true when I met you. Some need to marry a prince to become a princess. But I only need to look at the reflections in your eyes to feel like one."

Blue moon may not come by easily. But it does happen, every so often.

9 left a petal:

starbender said...

Just surfed in..., enjoyed your post!

Wingz said...

blue moon is one of my most fav song and its still is ... especially if its from dean martin

MisSmall said...

Starbender: Thanks!

Wingz: Yeah, great song, isn't it? :)

Fashionasia said...

great story. ;)
i guess luck must have been on your side for not meeting up scary freaks frm MIRC! ;)

MisSmall said...

Fashionasia: Haha. I thank God everyday for that.

cK said...

Hey. I just read all your "Our Story" posts. very interesting. Your first post made me read the other 2.
I thought mIRC "died" like 10 years ago. Me and my first ex met in irc too but it didn't last as we were too young. Your story almost sounded like a fairytale to me. You sure you didn't modify or add anything? Hehe....

MisSmall said...

Chin Kian: Haha. Nup, it is the real story, exactly how it happened, not fiction.

Watermelon285 said...

an amazing story.... ^^

Petite Lass said...

Aw,...your story is just so sweet!