Sunday, July 19, 2009


I feel like I'm in a slump.

I'm so unmotivated and uninspired that I could just scream!

Or maybe I'll just roll over and sleep because I probably wouldn't even be bothered to scream. That's how unmotivated I am. :|

It's been nearly 4 weeks since I got back to Melbourne and the only thing that I've actually done is attending that one lesson for my secret project.

Other than that, I've just been lazing around doing absolutely nothing at all.

I haven't even been seeing or talking to that many people because I simply don't have the energy to conduct a conversation with anyone. Even the effort to get out of bed every morning is unbearably draining.

Ironically, someone told me the other day that she envies my lifestyle and wishes she could take a long break from work like I did.

"Oh, to have a life and to be able to do whatever you want whenever you want!" She exclaimed.

I smiled politely, not knowing how to tell her that the only reason I'm not going back to work just yet is because I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I didn't have the words to tell her how terrified and lost I feel, not having a direction in my life but only wandering aimlessly in the dark.

I guess the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.

What may seem like greener pasture from where you are standing, might just be a swampy backwater that with each and every step, one only sinks deeper into the muddy stagnancy.