Friday, January 30, 2009


It's been raining almost every night in Swan City.

Staying up alone on late nights with heavy rain brought back those nostalgic and melancholy feelings.

Nights like these reminded me of those high school days that I'd stay up late to write articles for a local newspaper.

Those were the days. Time felt stagnant, yet there were so much to look forward to. We were growing up so slowly, but there were just so much possibilities.

"When I grow up, I want to be *fill in the blank*"

Remember that?

These days, I often feel like I'm living in a maze.

Now, time passes by way too quickly that I can hardly grab on to anything, but the progress is stagnant.

Everything feels like a transition period, yet nothing is permanent. Things progress so slowly that sometimes you're unsure if they are moving at all; it takes so long to reach the destination that you start doubting if it even exists.

It gets so frustrating and scary when you constantly feel like you're walking in circles, but not really going anywhere. You don't seem to be moving forward to where you want to go, yet at the same time, you can no longer go back to where you came from.

And because you can't see the way out, every now and then, you start doubting if you'll even get there.

5 left a petal:

Uncle Lee said...

Hi Ms Small...nice blog and enjoyed your this posting re 'memories'.
We all have our memories...and its fun to think back thru the mist of time brushing away the cobwebs and laughing the times we had, the good and not so good.

Pleasure is the flower that passes. Rememberance...the lasting perfume.

Kong hei fatt choy, best regards, Lee.

Doreen said...

I think the fun of it is not getting where you wanna go, but the process of getting there. That's where you learn and grow.

foongpc said...

I agree with Doreen. The journey is always more interesting than the destination. So while you are wondering if you'll ever reach your destination, do enjoy your journey, that is, the present moment! Remember, don't worry about the past or future too much, it's the present that counts! : )

renaye said...

i sometimes feel frustrated of not being able to be what i dream of when i was younger. i need to tell myself repeatedly that rome is not built in a day.

emotionalistic said...

I think most of us have got the same problem. I'm still in a maze too and still trying to make the best decision for myself from time to time. Dont give up, gal and a very Happy Chinese New Year to you & Bee ;).