Saturday, January 17, 2009

Off to Cat City

I'm still sleeping and waking up at odd hours, no thanks to my irregular sleep pattern in KL.

But tonight, I'm sleepless for a different reason.

I'm flying off to Cat City early in the morning with mum for her quarter-yearly checkup.

Every 3 months, she has to have a blood test and MRI done. Every 3 months, I'm reminded of the fear of losing her.

Waiting for the checkup results, is like waiting for a verdict between life and death. It's cruel, and at the same time, terrifying.

I don't know how afraid she is to have to go through such ordeal every 3 months, because she never lets us see her worries. I don't know how to make her feel better, except to pretend to be strong so she doesn't see my worries too.

I don't even know how to gauge how much my heart aches, each and every time.