Saturday, December 20, 2008

Who Reads Your Blog?

Few nights ago, I had an episode of paranoia.

It's actually something that's been bothering me for quite a while now. Recent incidents merely intensified the feeling.

What happened was, I found out, by pure coincidence, that the author of a blog I read is married to my ex-boyfriend's college mate. And another blogger, whom I occasionally exchange emails with, is best friend with an old acquaintance of my senior in uni.

Six degrees of separation is only so true. So if you think the world is big, think again.

Think about this, a random google search on "chocolate banana cake from Secret Recipe" actually led me to a blog with my coursemate's wedding photos all over it.

You never know what you're gonna find online, and the world is only this small. Chances are, every once in a while, you're bound to stumble across someone you know of on the net.

Which got me thinking, do I really know who is reading my blog?

No, I'm not worried about strangers reading my blog. But the thought of my family or friends or acquaintances or patients read my blog, gives me goosebumps all over.

This secret space of mine has been an outlet for me to vent and share my thoughts without having to worry about being judged. I love that I'm able to say things freely instead of holding back, I love that I can sound as silly as I want, I love that my statements don't always have to be politically correct, and most of all, I love that people don't know who I am in real life and hence don't expect me to act a certain way.

Does it make sense that I feel more comfortable sharing my uncensored thoughts with people I don't know, instead of people I do know?

All my life, for some reasons beyond me, I've had people probing into my life trying to find things they can exaggerate to 10 times its magnitude just so it's gossip-worthy, I'm sick and tired of it. To think that someone who knows me is secretly stalking and reading about my life, sends chills down my spine.

Maybe I'm over-reacting, but I'm actually considering locking my blog.

Don't get me wrong, I love my readers (you gals know I do) and I'm very honoured that some of you actually enjoy reading my senseless ramblings. I'm just freaking out because of the bad experience I've had with some nosy pests in my life.

Yes it's my decision to put it out there when I started keeping a blog, but I value my privacy. A lot. Contradicting, ey?

Also, the possibility of my (or Bee's) family and relatives finding out about my blog, creeps me out BIG TIME.

Okay, I think I need to go make myself a big cup of chamomile tea to calm my nerves and rethink this over.

What about you? Have you ever wondered who reads your blog?

17 left a petal:

Jonathan Fun said...

quite scary to let your relatives know about what you blog about right? especially if the posts concerns them!

Doreen said...

Well if locking your blog gives you a peace of mind, then may be you should. Blogging shouldn't be a hurdle to your worry free life. I guess I just couldn't care less, if I put down the words, they are my voice to be heard. If they're too sensitive to be publicised, then I turn to my other private blog ---> my hubby! LOL

emotionalistic said...

I actually started blogging anonymously until one point i just let it go past me :). I dont mind strangers or my very close friends reading my blog but i do mind my family members or colleagues reading my blog :P. I think it's a way i could keep in touch and reach out to my friends who are far away from me and not meant for those around me though! Hehe....maybe one day, I would freak out like you and decide to lock my blog too...who knows? So, what's your final decision?m

DQ said...

It happened to me when my in-laws found out about my blog. It was such a nightmare. Thank God it's ok now.

Really takes the joy out of blogging.

renaye said...

err.. my colleagues recently discovered my blog. and so far i have never came across any of my long lost friends's blog unless i was given the url. :D

xin said...

i totally know what u meant. my sis reads my blog, and i feel....not so good about it. and my colleagues read my blog too, but it is just funny to discuss about your own blog post with someone whom u see everyday.

Tine said...

It's scary, I know. I'm always worried about what I write on my personal blog (my family can't be arsed about me writing about makeup, so I'm all right on my beauty blog :p). Not so much the language as to what I reveal.

Up to a point where I couldn't care anymore. Okay, until maybe if the in-laws discover the blog. Then it's going to be a whole different story. Touch wood!

Lila said...

Would we still be able to read your blog if you decide to lock it? I love reading your blog and I follow it everyday. I hope you'll reconsider.

sdovelly said...

talk about privacy far i did not give out my blog URL to any of my colleagues. Wanna keep personal and work separated.Just close frens and online bloggers visit to my site. it serves more like a discussion board and a channel to voice out everything that is in the mind. if you were to lock your blog, i will be the first to cry :(

fuzkittie said...

Oh gosh I try not to think about this kind of stuff! Haha.

Josephine said...

Scary, got to think twice on what to blog...

foongpc said...

I freaked out when a friend told me something I did not tell him before. When I asked how he knew about it, he said he accidentally stumbled onto my blog! So, yes be careful if you are a private person, don't blog about anything under the sun! : )

Petite Lass said...

I started blogging anonymously before deciding to reveal my blog to my friends and some of my colleagues. The latter can be rather risky. Hence, I try not to talk too much about work. Even if I do, they are pretty general in nature. I know how you feel because I felt exactly the same way. I told my sister not to read my blog (at least not in front of me or somewhere near me) although we are quite close to one another. The brighter side of it is that she got to read about my updates when I was away from her - eg: on business trip which she couldn't join me.

MisSmall said...

Jonathan Fun: It's SO scary that I don't even wanna start thinking about it. >_<

Doreen: I actually find it rather therapeutic to document my feelings while knowing that someone out there might read it and understand where I'm coming from. I just don't want that "someone out there" to also be someone I know. :(

Emotionalistic: The thing about keeping an online journal is, you have no control and no idea who is reading it. At least by locking it, one gets to pick and know the readers better, right? :)

MisSmall said...

DQ: Oh dear, that must have been awful! And I wondered why your blog was locked out of the blue. I hope everything is okay now. *Hugs*

Renaye: You'll be amazed what you can find online, gal. A search on google might bring you to places beyond your wildest imagination. Haha.

Xin: It kinda makes me feel naked if I know that someone I know is reading my blog? Even if that someone is my closest friend or siblings. :|

MisSmall said...

Tine: I'd hate to have to watch what I say or not say. Don't we do enough of that in real life already? And I'm totally with you on the part about in-laws, gal. *Touches wood* :P

Lila: Oh don't worry, darl. I'm pretty sure there will be options to allow certain readers to still have access to this blog. :)

Sdovelly: Haha. Don't cry just yet, hun. I'll be sure to let you know beforehand and include you in the allow list. :)

MisSmall said...

Fuzkittie: Haha. That's a good way of handling it. I just can't seem to block out the thoughts completely. :(

Josephine: Exactly! And I hate having to think twice before I type in anything. :(

Foongpc:'re scaring me, man. But at least he was honest to tell you himself that he's reading your blog. What's worse is when someone secretly stalks everything you write without you even knowing about it. *Shivers*

Petite Lass: Problem is, I CAN'T not bitch about work! Haha. And I'd rather have the options to decide what to or not to reveal to people I know, instead of having them reading my raw thoughts when I'm not at all prepared.