Wednesday, December 03, 2008

So I Said No

After spending hours on the phone consulting my mum and trying to justify my decision, I've finally made up my mind to turn down the job offer.

As tempting as the salary and learning experience it offers, I guess I'm still not quite ready to compromise my professional integrity just because it's the common practise in this country.

"I should've insisted on you coming back to work in Malaysia right after your graduation. Now you've really become rigid and stubborn like they said you would." My mum jokingly said.

"But mum, haven't I always been rigid and stubborn?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Well...that's true." She laughed.

Besides that, I really don't want to be tied down by work now and feel like I haven't rested at all (despite the many other months of being idle) when I return to Melbourne. Also, I would have spent a lot less time with Bee for the next few months, which kinda defeats the purpose of my extended holiday.

My head was a lot clearer after making the decision, but another headache soon followed. I spent the next few hours psyching myself up before I gathered enough courage to call the manager.

I hate having to say no to people, and I suck at it. Big time.

That wasn't the only phone call I had to make. Out of courtesy and respect, I called the uncle to inform him of my decision not to accept the job and thank him for his recommendation. And boy, that was another hard one for me to do.

When it was all done, I exhaled deeply and a rush of relief flowed through my veins.

I don't know whether it was a mistake to pass up such a great opportunity to get me in touch with the local scene, I don't know whether I'll regret it further down the road, I'm just glad that I won't have another night of tossing and turning in bed.

So now I'm gonna sit back, have a cup of hot tea with my latest obsession - chicken floss roll from Bread Story, and try not to think for a while.

Later, peeps.

8 left a petal:

fuzkittie said...

Yay congrats! Cheers to relaxation and doing whatever you want!!! :D

emotionalistic said...

You should decide what is best for yourself :). Cheers!

iamthewitch said...

Oh well, whenever I feel relieved after I've made a decision, I know that it's the right one. ;) Cheers!

prettybeautiful said...

glad that u have made up your mind :) all the best to u, and hope to see more updates here soon :P

Doreen said...

Well, as long as you followed your heart and that makes you happy, it's all that matter.

sdovelly said...

it's ok, keep enjoying your tai tai life & accompany bee while you still can before going back to Melbourne. I bet the parting must be painful huh? :(

MisSmall said...

Fuzkittie: Which also means eat more, sleep more, and shop more! :D

Emotionalistic: I actually don't know what's best for me, I'm just glad that a decision has been made. :)

Iamthewitch: Me too! I use the same measure to gauge whether my decisions are right! But I guess we'll never know whether it's right or not huh? All we can do is to pick the one we feel most comfortable with. :)

MisSmall said...

Prettybeautiful: I'm pushing myself to try to write daily. Let's see how long I can keep that up. Hehe.

Doreen: I'm gonna have to go with my head once in a while, because my heart will always to be a bum. It's in my nature to be lazy, I guess. :P

Sdovelly: I don't even want to start thinking about it. It never gets any easier. :(