Monday, March 08, 2010


I've been in an exceptionally good mood ever since Bee and I got back to Malaysia.

Not having to work and not having to put up with annoying people brightened my mood drastically.

It is as if a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I can breath again.

I wake up with a smile on my face and music in my head.

Life just feels that much easier to cope and, um, better.

The new fruity tea tastes better. The fresh flowers smell better. My hair looks better. Music sounds better. Even lame jokes are funnier than usual.

Everything is just a little easier and not as overbearing when you're able to relax.

I'm even a much more pleasant company (especially to Bee) because a happier me is a more affectionate and loving person, rather than a cranky uptight biatch.

And it got me thinking.

Isn't this the same lifestyle that I chose to give up to go back to Melbourne a year ago?

How could a place that used to make me so unhappy bring me so much joy now?

What's changed? Me, or the circumstances?

Or maybe nothing has changed, but just my mentality?

Was it a mistake for me to leave? Would things have been different if I had stayed?

But would I still feel the same way I'm feeling now if I were to stay on permanently instead of just a brief holiday?

Why does the grass always look greener on the other side of the fence?

How do we choose which side of the fence to be on?

And most importantly, would I ever be truly happy with the decisions I make in life, be it here or there?

I don't know.

And quite honestly, I am afraid to know those answers.

Terrified, actually.

But let's leave those questions for another day.

For now, let's just try to enjoy this day and the beautiful sunshine outside our windows.

For now, let's just try to be happy.