Shattered

I'm heartbroken.

Just when we get our hopes high up and ready to open our hearts for a new beginning, the dream got shattered right in front of us.

I'm so disappointed that I don't know how I'm gonna pick up all the pieces and start looking again.

I don't know how I'm gonna find the energy to wake up tomorrow and put up with yet another day of dreadful mundane work.

I don't know if I ever want to dream again.

Third

Third time is the charm, they say.

We had yet another private viewing of the house scheduled this afternoon.

I don't know what changed, but today, I started to see the house in a different light.

Both figuratively, and literally.

It was the first time I viewed the house in bright daylight. The sun was kind enough to come out and shine its big happy smile for a brief moment during our inspection.

As I walked through the entrance, I started imagining a French country sitting area with white antique arm chair and itsy bitsy tea table.

As I inspected the quaint outdoor alfresco area, I started seeing how guests mingle and laugh at a candle-lit dinner party.

As I stood in the main living room facing the backyard with warm sunshine shining through the full length window, I was home.

Afterwards, we even checked out the park the house overlooks with the couple friend who came along to the inspection with their cute little 1-year old boy.

As the toddler rolled around in the grass and giggled so happily while holding my hand, I sighed and smiled.

As Bee and I drove around the quiet and serene neighbourhood, I got a taste of what it would feel like to live there.

So yes, I guess third time really is the charm.

I am charmed.

Rejected

My application to drive my new car has been rejected by VicRoads.

On the surface, it's because I hold a probationary licence and the car has a turbocharged engine.

But the real reason is because the imbeciles who work at VicRoads can't fucking do their jobs properly and do not have the courtesy to at least own up to it!

You see, when Bee and I were contemplating on buying this new car, we wanted to make sure that I would be able to drive it too, so Bee called up VicRoads to check how we can go about applying a permit.

And the idiot on VicRoads helpline told us that we have to purchase the car before applying for the permit because the application require a specific VIN number for the car's engine.

At first it didn't make sense because it clearly states on the application form that "A VicRoads exemption must be approved before the purchase of the vehicle", but she insisted "that's just the way it is".

We were also reassured that our car should have no problem getting a permit since it's "turbocharged or supercharged with a power to weight ratio between 100kW and 125kW per tonne and that are considered to be a family type vehicle (4 or more seats) rather than a sports type vehicle".

So we went ahead and bought the car as we were advised to, and guess what?! My application was rejected and I'm banned from driving my own car!

When we rang up to inquire about the reason(s), surprise surprise, we were told a completely different story this time round.

Apparently, regardless of what we've been told by one of their colleagues, we HAVE TO obtain an approved permit before buying the car.

AND, that's not all (if you can actually believe it, because I seriously couldn't!), quite the opposite of the information we've been given, our car is actually in the list of BANNED cars, alongside with the Audi TT and BMW 335i.

So everything we've been told was wrong information, no one has to take responsibility for it except us, cause we believed what we were told by VicRoads helpline. *Note the sarcasm*

And we are stuck with a car that I'm banned from driving until year 2012! Oh aren't we overjoyed?!

Really, it's the dream scenario everyone hopes for when they blow that much money on a car!

Really, it's our fault!

Really, thanks, VicRoads! And the imbeciles you employ!

Lesson learned: Always take note of the time of call, name of the person, and every single details whenever you call up any organisation, no matter how established and well informed do you think they are.

Lesson learned: Never send a man to do a woman's job.

Lesson learned: Sometimes the only person who has to live with the consequences of someone else's mistakes is you.

And there is nothing you can do about it.

For that, I'm sad.

Unsure

The agent contacted us this morning.

He had a chat with the vendors and they are voluntarily offering to lower the price a little.

It's a teeny weeny amount compared to the price of the house, and nowhere near to closing the gap between the asking price and the actual price we were prepared to pay for the house, but it's just the right push we needed.

I mean, Bee already loves the house, but I'm still unsure.

I don't know if it's because I've become a little more reserved after the lake house, or it's because of the fact that the house wasn't quite love at first sight for me to start with, but I was just not quite ready yet.

I'm just not sure.

About the house. About how much it is worth. About whether it's worth it.

And on top of it all, about if we really want to do this.

To settle down in Melbourne.

Sometimes when you get too close to the finish line, you start doubting yourself.

Like I do now.

Quiet

It was a really quiet day at work.

Which is weird, given that 'tis the season that everyone gets sick.

Maybe the weather played a part too. It was a cold rainy day, the kind of day that you would rather stay in bed and not go anywhere else.

Especially if you are sick, I guess. *Shrugs*

The quiet day was very much what I needed though.

I've been feeling so over-stressed and overwhelmed lately that I seriously think I'm gonna crack if I don't get a breather!

And today, for a change, I actually don't have an ignorant retard around, whose only job seems to be nagging everyone in sight and creating unnecessary dramas/tension.

Yes, one of my most problematic staff, a Vietnamese aunty in her 50s (I nicknamed her TM) who can't even speak/understand English properly but yet thinks she's all that, is away for 4 weeks of holiday, and boy, is everyone else glad!

Oh what a fresh breath of air! Without the stupidest comments/questions you can think of ringing in your ears all day long.

And the cold weather seemed to have successfully kept away some nasty patients/customers as well. There were still some of them, just not as many.

So it was a pretty easy and breezy day at work, and it put me in a rather peachy mood that I was much less of a bitch when I get off work.

Bee cooked me his infamous aglio olio spaghetti with lemon garlic prawns, and we kicked back to watch a few clips of Border Security before I had to call it a night.

Oh don't we just love a quiet Tuesday night?

Undecided

Bee and I woke up this morning hoping that we would have clearer mind or a glorious solution would reveal itself to us.

You know, with the sky opening up, angels singing and shedding light on the right path to show us the way.

But nope, it didn't happen.

So like all other mere mortals, we have to make our own decisions.

And being the indecisive people Bee and I both are, we couldn't.

It's almost like the feeling when you when you get so close to something and you can't see it? I don't even know if this is one of those occasions, but boy do I feel lost!

So I messaged the agent this morning and told him that we need a few days to think it over.

The truth is, I'm only buying time.

The truth is, the dream is suddenly so close, and I don't know what to do.

The truth is, I am scared.

Second

Starting work at 8am on a Monday so didn't help with my Mondayitis.

And as the weather gets colder and colder by the day, it gets harder and harder to get out of bed in the morning. Oh why do I have to leave my warm and comfy bed to go out to the cold harsh world to entertain annoying people and their annoying problems?! *Sighs*

I know it's my duty of care, or so they told us in school, but after last week, I seriously don't give a rat's ass!

The silver lining of the week is that one of my most annoying staff is away for holiday, and she won't be back for another 4 weeks, so that's one less idiot I have to put up with all day long. Oh God knows how glad I am! My threshold is running real thin at the moment, I'm telling ya!

Anyhoo, the training this morning was real lame. I honestly don't understand why I had to sit through the whole thing.

If it wasn't because I had to be there to open up the place for the staff, I could have slept in for an extra 45 minutes, which would have been so much more fulfilling than staring blankly and nodding along. *Rolls eyes*

The rest of the day was just ordinary. We were pretty busy, but there weren't that many outstandingly annoying people, so I guess we will call it a good day? *Shrugs*

After work, Bee and I had to rush all the way across town for another private viewing of the house we saw over the weekend. Tonight, we invited Bee's uncle along for a second opinion.

To be honest, the second viewing didn't really do much to change my opinion about the house.

I mean, it's a house that ticks all the right boxes, but for some reason, I'm just not feeling it.

Maybe because it was a cold and wet night, the agent was running 15 minutes late, and I was tired and pissed off about work, but regardless of the reason(s) behind it, everyone could clearly see my disinterest in the house.

(Yes, I suck big time at disguising my emotions. Surprise! *Note the sarcasm*)

I'm starting to think that the problem with me not "feeling" the house might lie with the fact that I'm not too fond about some of the renovations the vendors have done.

Nothing major though, just a few minor details here and there.

The finishing of certain parts of the house is not quite to my taste, and it feels like a waste of money to pay for something that was newly done up (the renovations would've been factored into the price of the house) only to waste more money to re-do them again, no?

Bee seemed rather disappointed that my feelings about the house haven't been swayed by a second viewing, so I lured him to more authentic Malaysian food for dinner to distract him. Sometimes the way to a man's heart is really through the stomach, girls!

I guess we are going to sleep on it and think it over tonight, and hopefully, a glorious solution will come to us tomorrow!

Night night, people!

First

On an (not-so) early Sunday morning, as I was putting on my makeup, I received a message from a real estate agent friend.

He's an old friend whom Bee and I ran into at a Malaysian restaurant last weekend after auction of the lake house.

Coincidentally, he's also a friend of Bee's uncle, and the same agent who sold his house earlier last year. In fact, he's the real estate agent Bee's uncle sought advice from about the lake house when he knew that we were interested in it.

Melbourne is so small that it scares me sometimes, I'm telling ya!

Anyway, the message was about a house that has just come onto the market and is opening for inspection for the first time this weekend.

He said that, for some reason, he thought of us when he saw the house and we should definitely go have a look since he knew we are still looking for "the one".

Bee and I couldn't make it for the open house inspection because I had to work today, so we scheduled a private viewing much later in the afternoon.

Turned out, Bee loves the house, whereas I'm kinda on the fence about it.

I'm not sure if it was because I was tired and hungry since I came straight from work with no food and a long drive (well, technically speaking, Bee was the one who drove), or I was still too hung up about the lake house, but somehow, I just wasn't quite feeling it.

I mean, it's a very beautiful and nice house, but somehow, it didn't have the zsa zsa zsu for me. *Shrugs*

A bit later on, Bee and I had hearty Malaysian food for dinner, fish head vermicelli (again) and good ol' fried kuey teow.

I was never a big fan of fish head vermicelli before, but lately, I just can't stop craving for it!

Maybe the cold weather plays a big part too. Winter is closing in on us, who wouldn't want a big bowl of hot noodle soup with deep fried fish head and crunchy preserved vegies (my favourite) huh?

Anyway, Bee is still really keen about the house, so we've rescheduled another private viewing tomorrow night.

Wish us luck!

Work

It can't be a good sign if you feel like kicking and screaming everytime when you have to get ready to go to work.

I can still remember those days, once upon a time, when I used to actually feel excited about going to work. What the heck happened?!

I'd like to think that I don't hate my job that much per se.

I mean, I do like what I do, especially when I feel like I'm actually making a small difference in someone else's life, but my current screwed-up work environment is seriously sucking away the last bit of enthusiasm left in me.

I used to console myself by thinking that it's only a temporary thing and I only have to put up with it till things become, well, more permanent.

But after yet another dream went poof, I simply do not know what to think anymore.

It's one thing to bear with the shittiness when you have a timeline in mind, it's a whole different other thing to just try to push through it day in and day out not knowing when you can get outta it.

I feel stuck.

And all I wanna do is to pull my hair out and scream.

Domesticated

Bee and I spent the whole Sunday at home, obsessing about our defeat at the recent auction.

Okay, not really. But it was cold out and we were lazy.

I cooked my specialty porridge, which is THE comfort food to have in such chilly weather.

I don't mean to brag, but I have to say that I make one hell of a mean savoury porridge. It's SO good that I literally licked the bowl clean!

(I'd like to think that so did my husband.)

Did my usual weekend routine, which also happens to be my favourite housework - 2 loads of laundry. Oh I just love the smell of clean crisp laundry fresh outta the dryer!

In the spirit of domestication, I was tempted to vacuum the floors of the apartment too, but I got lazy and my joints were hurting like an old lady, so I decided against it.

I guess I'll just go make myself a cup of hot honey lemon, which seems to be the only thing that I've been drinking for the past week.

Three slices of lemon, two teaspoonful of honey, and a full cup of hot boiling water. Voila! A little piece of heaven in your cup.

Then I'll wrap myself in my favourite blanket, and enjoy the rest of my lazy domesticated Sunday while Monday blues slowly rears its ugly head.

Oh why do weekends have to go by so quickly?

Auction

It was auction day for the lake house today.

Bee and I were fashionably late, as usual.

Even though we had decided to not bid on the house, it was still hard to watch the auction.

A little like attending an ex boyfriend/girlfriend's wedding ceremony. It feels so, final.

The house went for nearly 100 grand over than what the vendor asked for.

Though the final price is pretty much what I predicted (Bee has seriously gotta start believing that I have an eye for real estate!), but unfortunately not the amount of money we are ready to pay for a house with a land of that size.

You should also know that the proud owner of the house is a young Chinese couple in their 20s. Or early 30s, at the most. And they simply paid nearly a million bucks for a property without so much as a blink!

What can I say? The brutal buying power of the Chinese.

Guess Rudd's government new policy on foreigner ownership of Australian assets doesn't have as much (or as quick) an impact as it had hoped to achieve on the raising property prices that just won't slow down.

After the auction, Bee and I went to a few more inspections, but our hearts were just not in it anymore.

So instead, we went to get some authentic Malaysian food to cheer ourselves up. I had fish head vermicelli, while Bee had roti canai and this awesome beef rendang which made him one happy diner!

And now, we are ready to crawl under the blanket, get warm, and dream away about the house by the lake that we didn't get.

Maybe another day.

Some other day, some other house.

The search continues.

The dream continues.

Friday

It feels a little odd that I'm working on a Friday.

Even my staff feels weird about seeing me at work on a Friday.

I guess everyone, including myself, is too used to me having the day off that by having me at work, today somehow doesn't quite feel like an actual Friday.

I'm now officially the Grinch who stole Friday. :|

My head is so not with it today that I feel like I'm daydreaming the whole time!

It's a good thing that we are rather quiet today.

Speaking of which, I'm beginning to feel real shortchanged that I'm always being rostered on the days when we can get so busy, while the part time staff gets the quiet days. There is practically not much to do today that at times, I feel the need to dig out something to do just to keep myself occupied.

The best part is, the annoying TM normally doesn't work on Fridays, which is another BIG plus. I don't have to feel like I'm being rushed and ambushed all the time.

I actually didn't know that my current workplace can be so relaxing. :/

And I'm seriously starting to believe that being nice in this day and age will only make people think that they can easily push you around. Instead of being appreciated for being nice, you are being punished for always getting the short end of the stick.

How sad and unfair has our world come to?

Though for now, I shall probably push that thought aside and enjoy a peaceful *touches wood* day at work.

Off to stare into the blank while pretending I'm deep in thoughts.

Toodles!

Sickie

I decided to call in sick this morning.

I ain't gonna lie. I think I have a illness, and the illness is called Mondayitis.

For some reason, I just couldn't get out of bed this morning.

It started with a rough night of sleep.

Oh don't get me wrong, I slept a lot, and quite early too, but it just wasn't quality sleep.

I woke up at 3.30am because the effect of my sleeping pill had worn off, so I had to take another one to get back to sleep, which in turn, of course, made me feel all woozy in the morning.

But I was dreaming the whole night, all sort of weird dreams. Not all of them were bad, I must say. More like, um, adventures?

While we're on this, does anyone else have wild dreams of adventures or conspiracies all the time? Like, seriously, all the time?

Or is it only me? :|

I'm telling ya, if I could remember all of them, I should be writing my own version of "Alice in Wonderland"!

Then, in the morning, the usual thing with waiting for the bathroom, no thanks to the selfish couple who thinks they are the only people on the planet who need to get ready for work and the shameless boyfriend who has no problem of making himself "feel at home". *Rolls eyes*

As I was laying in bed, waiting for my turn to use the bathroom, the thought of having to rush to work just to put up with more annoying people all day long was just too much to bear.

So I picked up the phone, and asked a colleague if he could take my shift today instead.

(Mind you, I would have never done this if there was no one to work on my behalf.)

I then sent a couple of sms to arrange a few things for the day, before I went back to bed to snuggle up to a warm-faced Bee who was still snoozing away in dreamland.

And that's that.

I pulled a sickie.

Something that I'm usually too anal to do, but on this particularly bleah Monday morning, I decided that I'm entitled to cut myself some slack and just be lazy.

Don't do this at home though, kiddies.

Not unless you are feeling really don't-give-a-crap, then it's a-okay. :p

Now if you would excuse me, I'm gonna go make myself a nice cup of tea, and enjoy a quiet Monday morning. Not. Working.

And continue to reassure myself that I deserve a break every now and then.

Toodles!

Klutz

I am such a klutz today!

Not that I'm normally any better, but boy I'm just out of control today!

Before we get into the story of me being a total klutz, I'd like to briefly mention that I just witnessed another episode of shocking buying power of the Chinese today, and man was it brutal!

Bee and I attended the auction of a property that we quite liked but weren't planned on bidding. The location of the house was fantastic, but the layout, eh, not so much.

Still, we were curious (read: nosy) about how much the auction would fetch.

We arrived at the auction late, and it was only down to 3 bidders. All Asian! @@

And of course, in the end, the house went to a young Chinese family, hence the title of this sidetrack story - The Brutal Buying Power of Chinese in Australian Real Estate. :|

Anyhoo, Bee and I went to Westfield for lunch and did a little shopping at David Jones.

He wanted a jacket, but didn't find anything he likes even though I thought one of them looked smashingly trendy on him. Men can be so hard to please at times huh? *Shrugs*

I really liked this body balm by Aesop that has a very refreshing citrusy scent to it, but decided against it because one of my new year resolution is to stop buying beauty products because I never use them!

Knowing me, I'll probably go back there next week and buy it anyway, but hey, at least I refrained today huh?

We did our weekend grocery shopping in Box Hill while waiting for one of the real estate agents to call us back (which he never did, by the way *Rolls eyes*).

But we stocked up on lots and lots of Asian snacks and cookies, so I'm happy. *Grins*

When we got home, Bee and I were struggling to get all the shopping bags out of the car when I accidentally dropped one of them, and a bottle of light soy sauce in the bag broke.

The whole glass bottle just shattered into pieces, and there was soy sauce everywhere!

Bee and I managed to clean up most of the broken glass pieces, but not the pool of soy sauce on the floor. So you if find a large patch of dried up soy sauce in the car park tomorrow morning, you probably live in my building!

When we got back to the house and tried to unpack the groceries, I just couldn't stop dropping things. One after another! I swear, I wasn't doing it on purpose. It was almost like, once you pop, you can't stop!

It's either my "klutz button" has been triggered, or I was still traumatised by the light soy sauce incident. *Shrugs*

And when I was trying to pretend to be a domesticated wife by cooking a simple dinner for my husband, there was just stuff flying everywhere in the kitchen and landing on the floor. I cut my finger too while chopping up some vegies. :(

Oh I sure hope that this klutz-phase goes away soon, 'cause I'm sick of feeling so clumsy!

Back to cooking (read: dropping things) I shall.

Wish me luck, people!

Testosterone

Today, I bailed on Bee on our usual Saturday routine - house hunting.

For some weird reason, I was feeling so weak and tired this morning that I couldn't even get outta bed.

It's either that I've re-caught the virus that's been going around and making everyone sick, or it's because of the new sleeping tablets I'm trying out. My guess is the latter. :|

Oh well. *Shrugs*

On a normal day, Bee would have just obliged and slept in with me if I wasn't up for it.

But today, the man was feeling so unusually motivated that he actually decided to head out to the scheduled property inspections all by himself!

*Raises eyebrows*

To be honest, I was rather impressed.

Even though he normally goes to house inspections by himself on weekdays anyways, it was still pretty impressive that he could resist staying in the warm bed on such a cold weekend day to go out all by himself.

I know I wouldn't!

So after he left the house, I sneaked out of bed, made myself a big cup of tea, and sneaked back to bed with my favourite macadamia shortbreads.

I then spent the rest of the day with my current obsession - Brothers and Sisters.

I mean, a show with beautiful people, beautiful sceneries, beautiful clothes and beautiful homes. What's there not to love?

And like everything else that one truly enjoys, time just flew by as I went through episode after episode.

Until my husband stormed in with egg tarts and the word "ANGRY" spelled on his forehead in capital letters (which were mutually exclusive, by the way) , all red faced while huffing and puffing like a steam engine.

Apparently he got into a shouting match with another driver on the road because the bogan honked him when it was Bee's right of way and the moron's bitchy wife was really rude with her, um, hand gestures.

They were shouting at each other, racing plus cutting each other off all the way from Doncaster to Glen Waverley, for Christ's sakes!

And this is the reason why I should've known better before encouraging my hot-headed husband into getting a turbo charged car!!

(But oh do I love our new car! *Sighs*)

I could only thank God that it didn't escalated into a full blown road rage situation!

It's hard to imagine how an usually mild mannered man like Bee can sometimes be so short tempered on the road. It's almost like, spontaneous combustion!

I'm telling ya, there's a weird chemistry between men and driving.

And I call it testosterone.