100 Tears Away

100 Tears Away
Vonda Shepard

Go ahead and cry now
Just give in to the madness
The only way to feel your joy
Is to first feel the sadness

Go ahead and sail now
Just give in to the ocean
The only way to tame your fear
Is to feel her rocky motion

You're a long way from somewhere you call home
There's a place in your heart you're not alone

All of the happiness you seek
All of the joy for which you pray
Is closer than you think
It's just 100 tears away

Go ahead and listen
Just give in to the voices
You think you're backed into a corner
But you've got so many choices

You're a long way from some place you feel safe
Peace of mine comes from just one place

All of the happiness you seek
All of the joy for which you pray
Is closer than you think
Is just 100 tears away

You're a long way from somewhere you call home
There's a place in your heart you're not alone

All of the happiness you seek
All of the joy for which you pray
Is closer than you think
It's just 100 tears away

My hands started shaking as I was putting on my eyeliner, and tears started rolling down my cheeks.

For no apparent reason at all.

Maybe it was the song that was playing in the background, maybe it was the gloomy weather in Melbourne today. But really, it's just one of my ordinary days nowadays.

One of my ordinary days battling depression.

The truth is, I'm getting rather used to crying. And sadistic as it sounds, on some days, I'm actually beginning to enjoy it.

At the very least, it's an outlet. It takes away some of the burden that's been weighing down on my heart. Even if it's just for a very brief moment.

So I wiped away the tears, re-applied my blush, put up a smile on my face, and headed out for my interview in the afternoon.

Laugh, and the world laughs with you; weep, and you weep alone.

And it's all that I can do to hold my head high, so no one else sees my tears when I cry.