Friday, May 08, 2009


I've had appointments scheduled for everyday this week.

Errands to run. Bills to pay. People to see.

Despite my struggle to get out of bed every morning, I kept every single one of those appointments.

I suppressed whatever it is that I was really feeling on the inside, got dressed, put on my makeup, and most importantly, a smile.

People like to see a smiling face.

When they ask how you are, they expect you to tell them that you're doing fine. Better yet, great.

So that's what I'm going to give them. A smile on my face.

Bubbly, even.

I may have to constantly take deep breaths and remind myself not to let the tears fall, but I feel compelled to keep pretending.

And that's what I do all day long. Pretending to be happy. Pretending to be strong. Pretending to be fine.

It's exhausting.

But maybe if I do it for long enough, I might actually start to believe it myself.

That I'm doing just fine.