Friday, September 08, 2006

My Bloomingdale

From Monkey Business to Bubble Bath to Bloomingdale, this blog has a new face again.

I picked Bloomingdale because I like how it sounds lively and hopeful. Wouldn't it be nice if there's a place with no sorrows and sadness, and the flowers are blooming all year round?

(On those days when things are bad and the future seems bleak, I can always call it my Gloomingdale huh? Haha.)

This blog has always been a very private space of mine. None of my friends or anyone in my family knows about it.

It's my little secret garden, which I share with my Bee and my Bee alone. It's like the tree house that we both wanted so badly when we were little kids, a place we can go to get away from everyone else and just be ourselves.

I've also decided that I'm too old to be Princess Poo Poo. I still love my prince charming and my tiaras, I just don't feel as princess-y these days.

Lots had happened over the past few months and in more than one way, it changed the way I see life. Perhaps it popped the lovely bubble I was living in and brought me into the real world. Or maybe I just suddenly realised that it's getting a little inappropriate prancing around in my pink tutu dress.

So I guess it's enough for me to just be one person's princess in our bee-dom. With everyone else, it's MisSmall for now (until I officially become Mrs. T, that is. *Winks*).

Why MisSmall? Well, because I'm small and I love malls? Haha.

There was a period of time when I was in KL that Bee and I argued almost everyday. One night, I came home after having supper with Bridget and found that he drew me this new flower.

Yes he can be sweet like that. When he wants to be. Haha.

I later put the flower on the button for my wish list, so that he knows what to do next time he's sorry. *Hints* :P

I've been feeling rather depressed lately. There are too many uncertainties in my life at the moment and it's making me feeling extremely insecure.

I hate the feeling that I have no control over my life and I don't have a clear direction where I'm heading. In someone else's words, I had fallen into an emotional hole so deep that only a fireman without a collarbone could rescue me.

But tonight, my dear boy made me smile.

After our daily phone call this evening, he suddenly sent me a sms out of nowhere, telling me that he ran out of towels so he was going to use the towel I left behind. Since that towel hasn't been washed yet, he was hoping that he's gonna smell like me afterwards.

It was completely trivial and insignificant, but it brightened my mood like a magic wand.

Bee, I may not be strong enough for a lot of things in life and I break down every so often, but your love is holding me together. Like you've said, things won't turn around completely when we wake up tomorrow morning and all our problems won't magically disappear overnight, but I'm still thankful that we love each other.

I want to believe that there will be light at the end of the tunnel. I want to believe in us.

I'm sorry. I love you too.

8 left a petal:

Kampungkai said...

awww so nice and sweet...
making everyone reading this jealous.

Blessings to u and your bee!

MisSmall said...

Kampungkai: Things are not always rosy. It's only nice and sweet because you weren't there when we were yelling at each other. :)

bodicea said...

The loveliness of romance. :)

All the best.

Thanks for dropping by my space, btw.

MisSmall said...

Bodicea: It's not always lovely, it can get pretty ugly at times too. But I guess that's how the game is played huh? :)

Jemima said...

"I've been feeling rather depressed lately."

Me, too. He left me all broken up 2 months ago today. I'm still trying to sort out my pieces.

MisSmall said...

Jemima: Aww I'm sorry, gal. Dramas in relationships do get harder to deal with as we grow. So I'm not gonna pretend that it's okay and tell you that you'll be alright in time, I know how hard it is.

I'm all ears if you need someone anonymous to listen or to rant to.

It just never gets easy, does it? *Sighs*

Jemima said...

I haven't stopped crying. I no longer know how to cope with my normal everyday life. There's so many things I wish I can tell you here but this is a public domain & so I can't.

You're a very nice person missmall.
I hope we can be friends.

Btw, I meant to ask you, how did you come across my blog? Please don't misunderstand my question. I'm just curious & I do welcome your visits.


MisSmall said...

Jemima: I totally know how you feel, darl. I probably wouldn't be able to get outta bed for months. We've all been there and it simply gets harder each time. Sometimes it hurt so much that we wish we never loved.

I'd love to be your friend, feel free to drop me an email if you need a listener. :)

Oh, I think I stumbled across your blog through the comments you left on another blog (which I can't recall).

Stay strong, gal. *Hugs*