Tuesday, June 16, 2009

It Never Gets Easier


As I turn on my laptop and pull up a new blank post on blogger, it suddenly dawns on me that I'm actually leaving next Tuesday.

Which is exactly a week from today.

I thought it would be easier to leave this time. I really did.

After all, this was only meant to be a short trip from the very first beginning.

It was never meant to be anything else but a quick break for me to clear my head and gather my thoughts.

Or maybe I should say, to breathe, and reboot.

But why is it that I think of leaving and the air caught in my chest? Why is it that I'm not the least bit excited about escaping this scorching weather?

Maybe, it doesn't matter what you tell yourself, it doesn't matter how well you've prepared your heart, it just never gets easier to leave.

Never.


8 left a petal:

Doreen said...

Well, hope you enjoy the rest of the week and have a safe trip back. Leaving is difficult but it is the beginning of an excitement of waiting to be back home again, isn't it?

iamthewitch said...

I know exactly how you feel babe. I do. It sucks to leave. Sometimes you just don't know if you should spend more time together to value the little time you have, or to distant yourself so that it doesn't hurt that much when you really leave.

xin said...

hope u can spend the remaining week here fully. :) say byebye to the oven! think abt this: u will be back to the oven again soon! but i know how it is like to miss someone too :(

renaye said...

maybe u caught haze in ur chest... so u really need to clear it out!!

MisSmall said...

Doreen: Easier said than done. *Sighs*

Iamthewitch: OMG! You took the words right outta my mouth, gal! Couldn't have said it better myself.

That's EXACTLY how I feel each and every time. It's such a delicate and complicated feeling that I never thought anyone else would understand, let alone describe it so accurately. OMG I can't believe you've just said that! *Hugs*

Xin: I'm glad to get away from this giant oven we're living in, but I'm not exactly thrilled about returning to a bleak winter in Melbourne ALL BY MYSELF either. :|

Renaye: Eh?

iamthewitch said...

HUGS to you too babe! :)

Lila said...

Aww...I can see that you have been so much more happier the past few weeks. Hope you get to come back for more holidays again soon and can be with your Bee. Be strong girl!:)

MisSmall said...

Iamthewitch: *Hugs*

Lila: Awww...Thanks, hun. You're always so sweet! :)