Saturday, August 29, 2009


I woke up to a drizzling, cold gloomy winter day in Melbourne.

Which, strangely, put me in a rather pleasant mood.

I've always loved staying in during rainy days. It makes me feel safe and protected, like I'm shielded from the harsh weather and even harsher things that are going on in the world outside.

But having been so absorbed in the emotional roller coaster I've been riding, it's been a while since I'm able to stop and learn to appreciate the little things in life.

But this morning, I stopped.

Well, for a brief moment anyway.

I stopped, took a deep breath of the cold fresh air with slight traces of rain, and almost felt like it cleared my head a little.

Maybe it's because I had a(nother) good night sleep.

Maybe it's because the usual annoying intruder on weekends (and weekdays, too) is gone for the next 5 weeks.

Maybe it's because winter is nearly over, and spring is just around the corner.

Maybe it's because most of the side effects had settled down, and my heart is not racing at 120 beats per minute for a change.

Or maybe the roller coaster is just climbing up for a high point before it plunges back down again.

But as I sat down near the window with my raisin toast and English Breakfast tea this morning, I started to notice the little things I have forgotten for a while.

The smell of melted butter on toast. The sensation of cold crisp air brushing against the skin. The sound of leaves ruffling in the wind. The taste of 2 sugars in my tea. The colours of those little birds braving the rain.

I can't quite see the sunshine coming through those dark gloomy clouds yet, but I almost caught a glimpse of the person I once was.