Friday, August 07, 2009


When you're battling depression, one thing that you'll learn to do quickly is faking a smile.

It's so much easier to fake being happy than to explain why you're not. And it's just easier on everyone else this way.

Who doesn't prefer to see a smiling face than teary eyes?

After a while, you get so good at faking it that you start to forget how happiness really feels like.

Or when was the last time you were smiling genuinely without feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders.

These days, the only time in a day that I could convince myself that happiness is not such an impossible thing is the brief period between after I've taken my Stilnox and before it knocks me out.

It's the only time in a day that I could manage to stop faking, stop worrying, and stop thinking.

Just. Stop.