Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Countdown: 7 Days to Board Exam

This is an exam that I actually don't have much to lose.

It's a rare occasion, in the context of exams, that I know I'll have something to fall back on no matter I pass or not.

Yet I don't feel any better about it. Why is that?

Maybe I just hate exams. Oh yes I do!

I haven't been able to study at all. I just can't sit still.

On a much lighter note, it was Melbourne cup today. Makybe Diva won for 3 years in a row.

It was history in making. And I didn't go, by choice, because I thought I'd stay home and try to study. Wishful thinking.

I didn't get to wear pretty dresses and fancy hats. I didn't get to cheer my heart out. I didn't get to win money on that now-officially-retired horse. I didn't get to do nothing. Worst of all, I didn't get myself to study.

So, the whole day was completely wasted. It is actually something I'm rather good at, wasting time.

I told Bee and mum that I'm gonna chicken out on the way to the airport. I'm gonna bring my MAS airline ticket with me. It's an open ticket Melbourne to Kuala Lumpur, which comes in handy when I need to flee the country.

So instead of getting grilled and tortured and very possibly humiliated in a board room, I'll be chilling at a mamak store having mee maggie goreng next Tuesday.

Speaking of which, it sucks that I have to board on an airplane to sit for my stupid exam.

Oh, and I think I'll take next Wednesday off as well.

I was told that the Board won't release the results over the phone anymore this year. The only way to find out will be through notification emails they send out after the annual Board meeting. Maybe from past experiences they found it too difficult to handle when the candidates who failed broke down and cried on the phone? Oh well.

I used to think that it would be easier for me if I go to work so I can take my mind off this whole thing and Bee can give me a call when he checks my email for me.

I changed my mind.

I don't think I'll be able to handle disappointment very well at work should I fail. Gotta put up a brave smile and all.

It'll be better for me to just take a sleeping pill to knock myself out and face the dragon in the comfort of my own home whenever I'm ready.

I plan to stay up to TRY to study till 8am tomorrow morning. We'll see how well that turns out.

Wish me luck, fellas.