Friday, February 03, 2006

Boot Camp Day 11

I am lonely.

It feels like you're in a crowded room full with people, and you're screaming at the top of your lungs, but nobody hears you.

I'm not screaming. Because I know that nobody can hear me.

The loneliness is palpable.

It's not something easy for me. I've been through this time after time, but it didn't get any easier.

I'm sure you don't know what I'm talking about. And I don't expect you to.

It's not the worst thing in the world, it's just very difficult for me.

You may see me talking and laughing as usual, you may see me walking on the street to 7-11, but you don't know where I am. It's a place that if you've never been, so you don't even know that it exists.

I can't go out, and you can't come in either.

The truth is, I don't know whether I want to let anyone in, even if you could.

But that's alright. This is how it's always been, and it's alright.

We'll still eat, drink and be merry when this is all over.

Till then.