Saturday, February 04, 2006

Boot Day Camp 12

I woke up yesterday morning, feeling extremely nauseous.

My eyes were about to pop outta my head, and my muscles hurt like I had just ran a marathon.

All I wanted to do was to go back to sleep, but I had to get up.

I fixed myself breakfast and forced it down my throat. Not because I wanted to eat, but because I had to.

It's sad when you only eat to get through the day.

(Actually, it's sad to do anything not because you "want to", but because you "have to".)

I felt like my stomach had been turned upside down, but I couldn't take any anti-emetics because they make me drowsy.

I took a tram to meet Ly at the State Library.

It was good seeing her, we last met in April 2005. It was not so good to discuss about the exam, it only made me realise that I'm totally screwed.

Our revision lasted from 11am to 6pm, with no break for lunch.

At about 3pm, my stomach started hurting madly. I knew that it was gastric pain but I kept it to myself because I didn't wanna break her momentum.

When we parted at 6pm, my whole upper body was hurting, but I couldn't give a damn.

Wen came to pick me up, and we went grocery shopping. I needed some sour lollies to suppress my nauseousness.

I was unusually hyper, given my circumstances. I guess I had gone into my offensive-stress mode. Instead of being all quiet and depressed, I was talking and laughing non-stop, cracking jokes like a stand up comedian.

In Safeway, my body decided that it wasn't gonna be ignored just like that. I had to bend down at one point because my stomach was hurting too badly.

I gave in, bought some antacid chewable tablets, and took one.

It didn't help, at all.

Wen offered to cook me dinner. So we went back to her place, and I curled up on the couch, holding my dear stomach.

I started to understand that your body is not like your boyfriend, it won't take your negligence and bad temper lying down. Instead, it's gonna hit you right back where it hurts the most.

After the tuna pasta, I felt worse. At one point, I couldn't move my arm without feeling the pain. I was lying flat on the couch, waiting for the pain to subside so Wen could send me home.

An hour later, I still didn't feel any better. I had taken 4 antacid tablets by then.

Wen asked if I wanted to go to a doctor.

I asked her if I went to a doctor, does that mean that I don't have to sit for the exam anymore?

She said, "No darling, you still have to sit for the exam."

I said, "I'll just go home then."

The moment I walked into the door of my apartment, I went straight to the bathroom and puked my guts out. It felt a bit like the time I got pissed drunk and ended up hugging the toilet bowl for 12 hours.

My stomach settled a bit after that. I was too tired to put any food into it again, so I talked to Bee on the phone and then fell asleep while still contemplating whether not I should study.

I woke up this morning, and it's the same thing all over again.