Wednesday, October 08, 2008


I don't understand.

Why do I have to choose between having a career that I love, and being around people whom I love?

I love my family and Bee and I love being with them, but why does it still feel like there is something missing?

Whilst it's fun and stress-free to be able to sleep in everyday and not worry about work, I can't help but feel that there is a void in my heart.

Even when my life is filled with love, a part of me feels empty.

I miss having a fulfilling career that makes me wake up every morning feeling that I'm gonna make a difference today. I miss that job satisfaction I get when I finish work everyday knowing that I've done well.

I love my job and I'm good at it. I just wish that I could do what I love to do, and go home to the people I love when I get off work at the end of each day.

Is that too much to ask for? Am I being greedy?

Sure working in Malaysia is always an option, but the working environment and ethics are a world's apart from what I'm used to. And that is something I'm not ready to compromise.

People tell me that I'll get used to how things work around here eventually, but I won't, and I don't want to.

I've always been a person of strong principles and a hard hard head since young, I'm not about to change now.

Work is about passion, so how do you budge when it's something you're passionate about?

And maybe that's my problem, my unwillingness to compromise, my inability to adapt.

Maybe I should just accept that life as a responsible adult is not about having your cake and eat it too.

Maybe I'm just not meant to have it all.