Thursday, October 15, 2009


It's only 11.30am on a Thursday.

Whilst the day has barely begun for some people, I already feel like the air has been let out of my balloon.

I attended the 29th and 30th lesson for my Secret Project Australia this morning, which was also my second double lesson.

As usual, I came back feeling like an absolute retard for not being able to master a skill that comes so instinctively to many.

And today, it hit a little closer to home when it suddenly dawned on me that it's been 3 months since I started my first lesson here in Melbourne.

Patience is not a virtue I was blessed with, so as much as I try to comfort myself by thinking that there's no pressure on me and I can take as long as I need, I can't help but start feeling impatient.

The fact that I've taken 30 odd lessons doesn't help either. The average number of lessons most people need is, like, 12?

I don't kid myself thinking that I can be one of those "average" people, so I did expect that I'll most likely require more than just 12 lessons. But my sarcastic instructor once joked that I might need a thousand lessons before I can pass the test, and you know what? I'm really starting to believe him!

People have been trying to make me feel better by telling me stories of how others who have had many years of experience overseas found it difficult too when they had to adjust to the system in Australia, let alone the little helpless me who have had no experience what-so-ever.

Those stories did make it feel a little better, but no less frustrated.

Bee has been comforting me by saying that I should take as many lessons and as much time as I need because, at the end of the day, safety comes first.

He has a point. A very good and valid one, actually.

What I don't understand is, how can I be so bad at this?!

Almost everyone I know of does it on a daily basis, and it's as easy and as natural to them as breathing or eating, so why can't I even get the hang of it?!

Oh I just want to get it over and done with already!

But at this rate I'm going, I'm seriously beginning to doubt if I will ever get there.