Monday, September 21, 2009


I slept exceptionally well last night.

Thanks to the muscle relaxant in the painkillers I took for a bad headache. It worked like a charm to boost the effect of my Stilnox.

Bad, I know. I wouldn't encourage anyone to do the same, personally and professionally.

But I was really desperate for a good night's sleep, so please don't throw stones at me.

Moving on.

I received an email from a reader a few days ago, reminding me that I've disabled the comments on my blog, on and off, for nearly 6 months now.

Has it been that long? Gosh I didn't even realise.

I have no explanation for it. I really don't.

Except that I just don't know what to say to most people these days.

In real life, or in this private space of mine.

I don't want to whinge all the time because it's just not my style, especially when I know that my problems might seem trivial to some; yet at the same time, I don't want to smile and lie that I'm feeling fantastic when I'm really not.

So in a very selfish way, I've chosen to have an one-way conversation between us.

Because if you asked how am I doing, I simply have no answer.

During the time that I've disabled comments on this blog, especially after I wrote about my battle with depression, a lot of you emailed me.

Some of you I know a little about from your blog or previous correspondence, and some of you silent readers I didn't even know I have.

Those emails were full of sweet words of comfort and support, of genuine concern and friendship, and of warmth and encouragement. Some of you sweet girls in Melbourne, you know who you are, even offered to take me out to cheer me up.

Like I've said many times before, I'm not sure if a whinny brat like me deserves so much kindness, but I'm truly grateful.

I may not have replied most of those emails yet (again, because I just don't know what to say), but I do read through each and every one of them, and I honestly appreciate the compassion and kindheartedness you've shown me.

It's amazing how a few kind words from a stranger you've never met could warm up a person's heart such tremendously.

So thank you, for the kind gesture of sending a little warmth my way when you didn't have to.

Thank you for being such a bunch of sweet darlings.

Thank you for understanding my selfish need to shut people out at times.

Thank you for putting up with my rants and ramblings.

And thank you, just for listening.